Friday, October 3, 2014

Some pictures from a July hike

Sky said lets take a Nature Picture.

Just so everyone knows this is Skyler's tree chair

He wanted to keep it... Um, No


It took an hour, but we made it to the top.


Funny pic

We rested for awhile,
it was wonderful and peaceful. 
Indian Seats is the name of this place.

 Where shall I go from your Spirit?
Or where shall I flee from your presence?
If I ascend to heaven, you are there!
If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there!
If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
even there your hand shall lead me, and your right hand shall hold me. 
If I say, "Surly the darkness shall cover me, and the light about me be night,"
even the darkness is not dark to you;
the night is bright as the day,
for darkness is as light with you.
~ Psalm 139:7-12
When you are wanting/searching for God this verse is comforting. But, when or if you are running from God this is a constant reminder of you holding onto your sin.
There was a time I thought I'll do what I want and just deal with what ever happens, how foolish was I. Just as my eight year old cannot see how unchanged habits he has now, can become a major character flaw as an adult. I did not fully understand what I was getting into. I ran from God for a time. I did not cling to him and what I knew about him. I was hurt and felt like I was done, yet he was still there.  I resented him being there at first. I knew I was going to places I should not because I wanted to run away. Then when I wanted out, I felt trapped, I was a prisoner in my own bondage (sin)....I had put myself there and I knew I deserved this pain. I would cry out to God asking him to help me break away and he did provide a way out.  God made a way for a friend from Maryland to come all the way down to Panama City, Florida on a mission trip. He was yelling "Free Pancakes" on the side of the road. I pulled over, we got pancakes and as soon as we sat down he said "What happened to you, you are not the same?" We talked, prayed and he invited me to come to their worship meetings. This was exactly what I needed, at that point I was free. I know that this isn't always the case, but it was for me. 
God was in the darkness with me even though I had chosen to go there. How gracious, loving and awesome is the LORD God, our heavenly Father. If you are searching for him He is there.


Sunday, September 14, 2014

2014 Fall Update

I haven't written in a while for several reasons. It's not that I don't have a lot to say. It is because a lot of what I want to say, I need to keep in my head... several issues going on.  :)

A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. The tongue of the wise commends knowledge, but the mouth of fools pour out folly. ~ Proverbs 15:1

That said we had started the process of adopting again and all of these emotions have come flooding back. From what I've heard it is similar to those who have kids in school and now are thinking of having another baby....the cute, lovable baby but there is late night crying, diaper changing, feeding and no sleep. I now know all of the issues that can come with adopting, well, almost all the issues. And, we are still working on some of those deep issues. My fear is not just a little regression on Skylers part, but a full blown back to where he started kind of regression. Yes he is that dramatic. Positive note is I do still have ear plugs and am more prepared than before.

My fears aside, Scott and I know we are supposed to more forward for these next kiddos or kid. We have had to start all over again, with a new agency and it is just as frustrating this time around as it was last time. Not only are we doing all the test, fingerprints, background checks, oh the mountain of paperwork, but we also have to have CPS background checks from each state we have lived in. Are you kidding me? We know why we have to do all of this, but it is insane at the same time. So for now I feel like a circus animal...I've jumped through all of the hoops and now your setting the hoops on Fire, and off we go again...Jumping. And by the way you are not supposed to get frustrated or upset.

Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.
~ Romans 12:12

So here is my thing: I am not a "good person" because I'm adopting. I am only a "good person" because God adopted me into His family.
I would not be adopting if I had not been changed by Jesus Christ's love for me. As frustrating as the adoption process is, as hard as it is when you have the kiddo, there is no way I could do it successfully with out God, JC (Jesus Christ) and the HS (Holy Spirit). You could said I was nice and a "good person" before, but I did not know God's unconditional love, or what it meant. God's love is so much more than our understanding of love, even more than a parent feels for their child.
Yes there are times my love totally fails, but thankfully I can tap into God's unconditional love. If I am willing to put my feelings aside and let God lead, then I can have unconditional love for another person. That is when others will notice a difference in you, because it isn't you, it is God.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold the new has come. ~ 2 Corinthians 5:17

In you (God) the orphan finds mercy. ~ Hosea 14:3b

We had a full summer, lots of family visits, a karate tournament and some family trips.

Skyler started third grade and his teacher just graduated last year from Georgia. He said he had to wear a Gator shirt his first day of school. Lol

Skyler is mostly excited about the thought of more kiddos, but every once in a while he has all of the "What if" questions like, "What if I have a brother and he wants to talk to me and I want to read?". So we talked about a few of them, but they didn't seem to be stopping. So I said, "Well why not just enjoy being the only kid for now and we'll deal with everything else when we do have more kids." Thankfully this clicked with him and stopped the what if questions for now.